Last place in 2025 cost Pige his hair. Two rings, years of Lil Uzi album names for a team, and none of it saved him from the clippers. He showed up, gave the thumbs up, and let the league keep the receipts.
Kirby went dead last in 2024, looked at the punishment menu, and pulled out his wallet. He paid $150 to skip every bit of it. The league doubled the buyout to $300 right afterward, specifically because of him, so nobody could ever be that cheap again. Smartest move of his career, which tells you plenty about the career.
Brandon went 3-11 in 2023, the only last-place finish of his life, and the winner dressed him for it. A tie-dye "bruh" shirt, a hat that says "Sup?", a studded belt, and polka-dot shoes, worn for three hours in a public bar. The second the clock ran out, he threw the entire outfit in the trash and bought a brand-new one on the spot, rather than spend one more minute of his night out looking like that. The rules say nothing cancellable. They say nothing about mercy.